The Last Republican President

While most Americans who live in the lower 90-percentile have had hellish lives over the past decade, we may actually owe President George W. Bush, VP Dick Cheney and evil-genius Karl Rove a debt of gratitude when it’s all over with. No, we’re not safer than we were before the Bush era, nor are we better off as our economy is in shambles.

Actually the Democrats and anyone else for that matter seemed feckless in stopping this Greedy Old Party’s megalomania juggernaut. It turns out they imploded under the weight of their own excess.

Oh they’re still giving the old slash-and-burn, pull-out-all-the-stops campaign blitz one last run-through, hoping for that miracle knockout that won’t happen. What’s really been fascinating is watching how the GOPers deconstructed right before our very eyes from top to bottom.

“It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.” — Good Riddance, Green Day

It speaks volumes when the GOP is on the threshold of a presidential election; everyone is running away from their incumbent president as fast as they can, and subtly easing away from their current nominee for president in preparation of the train wreck ahead. It also says something when the only two “rock stars” on the campaign trail are two individuals with no national, much less international, experience: Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber.

"Sarah Oh-Twelve!" bellowed a man in field coat and jeans, one of several thousand at the Leesburg VA rally, when Palin spoke about her tax policies recently. The same news story noted there were "I [Heart] Palin" bumper stickers on cars, "Team Sarah" T-shirts in pink, "Sarah!" pins and countless signs: "You Go Girl." "You're in Palin Country." "Maverick Barracuda." One of the souvenir vendors said his most popular offering was a pin showing Palin next to a pit bull and the usual "McCain-Palin" logo reversed, with her name first and in larger letters.

So much for running mate. That mavericky Pit Bull Barracuda Palin has effectively emasculated the John McCain campaign. She is number one. True to form, she also runs closer to the Bush model of rule and philosophy – despite trying to awkwardly paint herself in maverick’s colors. This inspires the base more than an unpredictable maverick McCain.

Meanwhile Samuel "Joe the Plumber'' Wurzelbacher has been on the second most popular presidential campaign tour. He’s become a rock star in his own right for playing the part of the ringer in his “spontaneous independent” fifteen minutes of news fame – which he’s parlaying into a full-time political career. At this point, anyone pretending to be a devoted mouthpiece for the salacious neo-con base is practically guaranteed a nomination for whatever office they can affix their ambition to. (e.g. Katherine Harris of Florida Secretary of State fame)

Even Joe’s mavericking on his own as he recently sidestepped the economic message that his "Joe the Plumber Tour'' was designed for when he endorsed a statement made by a member of the audience in Columbus that "a vote for Obama is a vote to the death of Israel.''

"I agree with you,'' Joe said. "I really think that would be a problem.'' McCain campaign operatives later came back and retracted that message from he who hopes to be Ohio’s newest congressman.

Wurzelbacher also said Tuesday he's considering a lawsuit over the fact that government workers have apparently searched some records pertaining to him since he challenged Barack Obama on his tax policy two weeks ago.

"I have contacted a lawyer,'' he said as he formally hit the political stump. "I'd like to see justice done. That's just for other people who dare ask their elected officials a question. They shouldn't have to go through the scrutiny that I've gone through. It shouldn't have to bother their families the way it's bothered my family.''

Apparently someone forgot to tell Joe The Plumber that we live under the rule of the Patriot Act. Government can look into anything they want to, whenever they want to as part of protecting America in the midst of this war on terror. He can be jailed (detained) indefinitely if they deem him a threat to the president or the country’s security. And no, Joe, it’s not some commie-liberal plot against hard-working, middle-class, $250k per year stiffs like you … it was rock-ribbed conservatives like George W. Bush and Dick “I have unitary executive powers, too” Cheney who escorted this into law.

But then why would Joe the Plumber care about that? Or Pit Bull Sarahcuda Palin for that matter? People don’t need to be familiar with the laws of the land or world events or geopolitics either. Geography’s for wimps! Hah!

All that’s needed is raw, unending ambition and the stamina to do whatever it takes to be a loyal party-devoted conduit for the neo-conservative message.

Meanwhile the party’s business and brain-trust conservatives trash Palin, the neos ridicule the neutered McCain, all sides are fervently looking for a place to bury the rotting corpse of Bush-Cheney politics and lamenting the death of Reagan’s supply-side, total deregulation as we see our economy collapse around our avaricious ears. Eventually our two-party system will fall apart and the GOP will be the first to divide.

But right now, the only attention being paid to the GOP in any active sense is focusing on who may well be the two new standard bearers for the remnants of it: Pit Bull Barracuda and Joe The Plumber. Somewhere, someone is printing up campaign 2012 stickers and T-shirts emblazoned with “Palin / Wurzelbacher.” Great news for the blind devotees in neo-con land. Bad news for anyone wishing to see a Republican in the White House any time soon.

George W. Bush may well be the last Republican president in America. Good riddance ….

“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.” — Good Riddance, Green Day